What about tomorrow?
by Azzuro
Summary: Set after Lily's return in episode 4, season 3.
1. Chapter 1

She managed to distract herself the rest of the day, avoiding feeling guilty for blaming Rufus for the whole Serena thing. When she entered their bedroom, he was pretending to be asleep, so she quietly sneaked into bed. She hated this silent distance between them. This was the moment when she started questioning her own decision, questioning their happily ever after. Was she making the mistake she made so many times before? She just wasn't the type to settle down for easier. And it would be easy to pretend to ignore this late night thoughts, pretend that she doesn't notice this cruel coldness between them and that he isn't really asleep… Maybe she was just finding comfort in familiarity and closeness, in the unbreakable bond that stayed with both of them for almost twenty years but no one ever made her feel so complete.

She woke up around 6 o'clock. After so many sleepless nights by Cece's side she got used to sleeping only a few hours at night. She thought of all those night in the past couple of months when she just wanted to feel the comfort of his embrace,lay peacefully with his hands wrapped around her waist and listen to his heartbeat. Fighting wasn't what she had in mind. She missed him. She still does, with his back turned to her and too much space in their king size bed. She slipped out of bed and went to take a shower careful not to wake him up. When she got back he was still firmly asleep, so she sat on the edge of his side of the bed just watching him breathe peacefully. It was one of those moments when she wished she still had her camera to capture.

"Hey…" He said with his eyes slightly open. Just enough to notice that she was on the edge of tears. Sun was lighting up her face, allowing him to see just how beautiful she is.  
"Hey…" Before she said anything else, a tear went strolling down her cheek. The words seemed so unnecessary when he reached to her hand and pulled her into his embrace. Familiarity. Touch of his fingertips against her skin. Light kisses down her neck and collar bone. They have been down this road so many times before but something was different this time. She knew that there is no going back, that in the morning they will take one more step further away from each other. This speechless dawn was the only witness to the beginning of an end.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a rainy afternoon when she thought about calling him. After a month of convincing herself that they did a right thing, she allowed herself to miss him. Her hand reached hesitantly towards her iPhone but while she was dialing the numbers, Serena entered the Penthouse. It was a bad idea anyways, she thought to herself. She managed to let it slip her mind until the evening. Empty bottle of her favorite wine and empty penthouse may have had something to do with the familiar feeling of being alone. She needed him... If only as a friend, but she knew they were never really good at being just friends.

"Hey…" There was long pause before he spoke.

"Why are you calling?" She felt a dull pain going through her whole body. There was something unfamiliar in his voice, something that convinced her she shouldn't have called.

"I dont know..." She tried so hard to sound calm, but she couldnt fight back the tears.

"I guess it was a mistake."

"Lil'…" Just as he was about to speak, she hang up.

He knew her too well not to notice the pain in her voice. She broke his heart too many times before, but somehow he was addicted to the pain of wanting her even though she was so unattainable. Half of hour later he was on his way to Manhattan. He wasn't going to let her let him go again. There was no Cece or secrets between them this time, there was only two of them lost somewhere on a way to each other. He entered her bedroom to find her curled up on the bed with her back turned to the door. Seeing her like this was breaking his heart in million pieces.

"Serena, whatever you need, not now…"

"Hey…" She turned around now, pretending she hasn't been crying.

"What are you doing here?"

"The same thing you were when you called me."

He sat on the corner of her bed, reaching to brush her cheek with his hand. He noticed a smile on her face before the tears went strolling down. He pulled her closer, kissing her passionately and holding her wrapped around him. She realized she was scared to let him in again, scared of letting herself love him like she did twenty years ago, but this tiny moment of her weakness in his embrace made her want to take the risk.


	3. Chapter 3

"Mm… Good morning," she turned around to face him as she felt a soft kiss on the back of her neck. She has been awake for some time trapped in his arms but didn't want to wake him.  
"Good morning, love," he rolled on his back pulling her close to him, kissing her softly. She curled up to him, wrapping one arm around his neck and burring her face in between his head and shoulder.  
"Hey… What's wrong?" He noticed she was shivering lightly and pulled away to look at her.  
"Nothing… It's just… It's nothing."  
"Lil' are you crying?"  
"No… I mean, yes… I missed you," she said, her eyes filling up with tears.  
"I hate seeing you like this," he cupped her face wiping the tears away and placed a soft kiss on her lips.  
"I know…" She closed her eyes, fighting the tears back. "I just had to let it out." Her lips formed into a something similar to a smile.  
"Oh Lily," he rolled her on top of him wrapping his arms around her to hold her tight. "I love you," he whispered in her ear as she moved to kiss his neck.  
"Show me," she mumbled into his neck.


End file.
